started to dislike trending#

one by one, the trending # keep breaking my heart…

i faced double impact and its breaking my heart in just a week.. man, at this point I dont know whether I can face any breaking/bad news again. enough please. my heart at its weakest right now.. its beating in a slow pulse.. very slow. its suffocating.

first, why the Beauty and the Beast # is trending? then, it hit me once, crashed me, “they banned it”.. i forgot how to breath, how to think.. they crushed my dream in one motion. Man! its hurt! if only you can see me few days ago, you’ll know how pale my face can be. Its crashing me, totally and completely. I can’t expressed how broken I’m at that time. only I know how sakit it is.

then… here’s come another trending # that make write this post.


#EXorDIUMinMalaysia ,

when i saw it, i keep praying, please, this can’t be real, please, this can’t be real, please not now, please dont. I keep repeating it over and over again, hoping that it’s just a fake news.

and, yeah, it is real… I stop breathing.

wow, my heart is strong enough to handle these heart breaker trending # in a week. I’m not yet recover from the first # now comes this.

to be honest, I’m not a fan of EXO. I can’t understand and not bother to understand what their song are about, I can’t list all of their album, I can’t even sing their song inside the bathroom,  but I’m head over heels with their leader, Suho.

I can’t help myself from becoming one of his fan and be the cliche’ teenage girl(march 2017, still teenager okay. not yet 20)  with a big dream. I watched his(Suho) recent drama, I watched youtube, all about him and the one I love the most is when they are performing their live concert, I can see what a man he can be, his sense of humour, the real him, not a character that he needed to play, just him. Then it’s hit me, if only I can see him standing in front of my eyes, just standing and it will be enough. And the only way I can do it by attending his or their concert. I thought to myself, not in anyway I can do that, only if they have their concert in Malaysia. now its here. But I can’t do anything about it.. The tickets sold out in minutes and going to a concert is not me, even if it is Taylor Swift, I will never be attracted with the idea of “attending a concert”.

but, this one, its just break me. Hope you are in your pink of health, Suho.









……burying my dreams. 


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