is it because of stress?

i can feel it, that the love is: empty.

i’m not sure, what to say nor to type.

it it because of my voice?

sorry, i was created this way, there is nothing i can do, to change my voice.

is it because of my body weight?

sorry, i am the lazy *ss girlfriend that can’t be your jogging partner as you wanted to.

is it because of my travel experience?

sorry, my mom is super duper busy working to raise my brother and i, that when she’s on her leave, we just cherish our time fully at home cause we know how tired she is.

is it because of my result?

sorry that i’m not intelligent enough to argue facts with you.

sorry that i can’t fulfil your standard that deserve any praises from you.

well, neither do you,. so you can take your steps and walk through the door, i’ll held it for you.

don’t be afraid to hurt me. just let me..go. set me free. i’m waiting.. 


should you be surprised? idts.

so, my second latest post, i was saying that i wont talk about my love life, right?

sorry, but i have to break my words. i can’t keep this any longer. I am someone’s girlfriend now.

hmm.. how to start. i’m nervous writing this post (no jokes, my keyboard is wet right now). huhhh… first and foremost, i wont tell his name, but i will called him, Ken (an idea i got from Barbie and Ken** excuse me for being childish). this relationship i have with him, is something that i value. i’m serious with this, yes, i love him.

urgh, this is so not cool. but, what to do, i have to share it on Pandaeyes. okay, Ken is my senior, he noticed me since last semester, but we only started to talk with each other this semester. it didn’t take too long for me to notice how sincere he is. he put much effort(s?) just to show me that he is serious. for the past 5 years (of being single) there are few reasons why i wouldn’t break my walls for a relationship. but this guy, i knew, i can trust him, and maybe it’s time for me to open up my walls, and with him, maybe, just maybe, it would be worth it.

the first thing that i love about him (LOL, i can sing the 7 things song right now), or why i trust him, because he respect me as a girl. i dont know how to explain, but, its there, he showed respect, not just like the other guy, who tried to approach me, and like pushing me to be their girlfriend and so on.

seriously, in relationship, i am a broken piece of s***. i’m a drama queen. i’m insecure. i know people will left, i know people will cheat, i know there are many pretty girls out there. but, Ken, he saw me at my worst, he proved it to me, that i’m beautiful too, and one of my bad day ever, which is my worst tudung-day., he saw it, he know how grumpy i am if my tudung is not on fleek, but he just there, staying and making me feel less insecure about it. moreover, the effort that he put, just to make happy. i’m a spoiled girlfriend right now.

we are in our early stage right now, many more to come. but.., i’m glad i’ll walk the journey with him.

i know this is annoying, but, i promise you, more to come. sorry readers.